The Story Of My Life
by Marinne Karneval
Summary: I had never considered myself a lucky person. Being born with a scaly red arm, must say everything. I don't know when I was born; I don't know if I ever had a name. I don't know who my parents are. But I do know that they didn't love me enough to take care of me. Most people know me as 'Allen Walker' and this is the story of my life.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man.

**Prologue**

"_Allen! Don't run."_

Have you ever had that feeling? The feeling of uneasiness. The feeling that something is going to happen. Something bad.

"_Allen! Be careful!"_

Have you ever felt it? The feeling of lost. The feeling of losing something important. Of losing someone you love.

"_Allen, get out of the way!"_

I never saw it coming. I never thought it would happen.

_Crash!_

It happened so fast.

"_Hey, kid you alright?"_

"_Oh my God!"_

"_Someone call a doctor!"_

It's funny how life goes. One day you are happily walking side by side to the man who you thought of as a hero. As your savior.

"_Wanna come with me? You look very lonely"_

Suddenly you see a candy shop across the street and run for it.

"_Allen! Don't go that far."_

You don't seem to hear a word from him. You continue running and cross the street, without sparing a glance to the sides.

"_Allen! Be careful!"_

Suddenly you hear a noise and stop. You look to the right and your heart stops.

"_Allen, get out of the way!"_

There's a carriage is coming towards you at high speed. You are frozen in that place. And suddenly you are pushed.

_Crash!_

"_Hey, kid you alright?_

You open your eyes, there's a crowd of people in the middle of the street. The same carriage that was going towards you is upside down, on the other side of the road. You move your head to the sides. Looking for him.

"_Mana?"_

And you see it. In the middle of the street, there's something. Or rather someone.

"_Mana?"_

You stand up and look at it. Reality struck you.

"_Mana!"_

You run and shook him. But your attempts are futile. You lowered your head and tears fall from your eyes.

"_Mana"_

"_A-Allen"_

Your face shot up with hope.

"_Mana, please don't leave me"_

"_A-Allen… Promise me that you'll always keep walking"_

"_M-Mana?"_

"_Take care, Allen"_

"_Mana? Mana! MANA!"_

He had closed his eyes and no air is entering his lungs. And your world had just been destroyed.

There's a noise in the background. People yelling things, calling for a doctor, for the police.

"_C'mon kid, let the doctor check him"_

You don't answer. The only one, who had ever shown love to you, had left. He is no longer coming back. You are all alone in the cold and cruel world that has rejected you since the beginning.

"_Monster!"_

"_Devil!"_

"_Stay away from here, you freak!"_

I had never considered myself a lucky person. Being born with a scaly red arm, must say everything.

I don't know when I was born; I don't know if I ever had a name. I don't know who my parents are. But I do know that they didn't love me enough to take care of me.


	2. Childhood

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man

**Chapter 1: Childhood**

I grew up in an orphanage. You would think that the nuns in there will take good care of me, that the other kids would understand me and play with me. That'll I have a soft bed to sleep, hot food to eat, clean clothes… But I wish it had been that way.

"_Oh my God! What is that?!"_

Kids ran away from me, but the "brave" ones threw rocks at me. The nuns "forgot" to feed me and they all blame me for things other kids did. I slept in a closet. Had old clothes, long messy hair, no shoes, no education and many, many bruises.

"_Stay away freak!"_

"_Devil!"_

"_You did it right?! You stupid little monster!"_

_Slap!_

One day, I ran away. I couldn't take it anymore.

"_I didn't do it, why don't you believe me! I'm not a freak! Not a monster! NOT A DEVIL!"_

I ran, and ran, and ran, and ran until I reach a small town. I walk in, but nobody spared me a glance. I mean who would care for a disheveled and messy boy, with torn clothes, messy chestnut-brown hair, bloody feet and a disgusting red arm.

I tried looking for a place to stay, on the first house they looked at me and let me in. They took me to the table and gave me a big bowl of hot soup. I was so happy… but nothing lasts forever. In my case not even 10 minutes.

"_Stay away and don't ever come back!"_

That happened for every door I knocked. They will look at me with pity and then a single glance at my arm and bye-bye.

With that my life began. I started to steal food from the posts, money from the people who passed by, sleeping under the bridges or alleys. There were times when I was lucky and they didn't caught me stealing, and I was able to eat, but when they did caught me… Let's just say that I got an incredibly big collection of beautiful and painful bruises and scratches.

"_Wait there you little thief!"_

"_Get him!"_

_He ran through the streets avoiding everyone passing by. He turned and entered an ally. 'Damnit!' Closed. Someone laugh behind him._

"_You thought you could escape don't you?"_

_Big hands grab him and sent him flying into the wall. _

_Slap! Punch! Slap! Punch!_

"_This ought to show you not to mess with others, you stupid monster"_

_They turned around leaving a bloody child behind._

It was an everyday situation. Days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. I moved from town to town, to avoid getting caught. Now in the last town I happen to mess the wrong person. Certain big man, I couldn't even get 30 centimeters away from him and he got my arm and lift me.

"_What do you think you are doing, brat?"_

_The 'brat' didn't answer, he was shocked. _

"_I asked you a question, why are you trying to steal my money, eh brat?!"_

_Silver met brown. Kick! _

"_You stupid freak!" the man covered his face, blood pouring from his nose. He turned to the kid, but he was already a meter away running a maximum speed, money forgotten. The man grab his things and ran after the kid. _

"_Out of the way!" _

_People were pushed as the two figures made their way thought the town. They got to the outskirts of the town were a circus tent was set up. The kid hid behind a cage, he bent trying to catch his breath. _

'_Ha! Stupid bastard at the end he couldn't catch me'_

Too bad I was wrong.

_Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! Crack!_

_The man threw a bloody child to the ground. The kid could barely move, he had bruises all over his face, blood was pouring from different part of his body, and he probably had some broken ribs. _

"_This will show you not to mess up with me, ya hear me brat?!" he moved closer to the kid, stick in hand. _

I looked up at the man in front of me as he neared me. No remorse, just hatred was seen in those brown dull eyes. He had a big wood stick in his hand. I closed my eyes, ready for the impact.

_Step. Step. Step. Tunk!_

"_Leave 'im alone, Cosimo" the kid opened his eyes and saw a small woman in front of him._

"_Whatcha think yer doin' Annabelle?!"_

"_Stoppin' a big stupid gorilla like ya, from punchin' this poor kid!"_

"_This got nothin' to do with ya, the little freak tried to steal me"_

"_That's not excuse for killin' im!"_

Annabelle was her name. She protected me from the enraged Cosimo. Me, an abandoned boy with no name, torn clothes and a deformed arm. She never saw my arm though… and I still continue to wonder if had she seen it, would she still had helped me.

Both of them worked in the circus, the ringmaster let me stayed, with the condition of working there. I was kind of happy at first, but then I realized I was just a slave. He would make me clean the animal cages, prepare the food, clean the dishes, help to set up the stage, etc. etc. But at least I got food and a decent place to sleep.

It was during my time there, that I finally received a decent name instead of Monster, Freak… or Devil. _Red_ they called me, because of my arm. The ringmaster saw it once and he gave me the name. He didn't do it out of kindness, had he did it would have been a proper one like Andrew or Daniel, but this wasn't the case. He chose it, because it was far easier to remember and even though he didn't say it, I was able to see it in his eyes. The disgust in his eyes, clearly saying that someone like me didn't deserved a name; I was just a tool after all.


	3. Life In A Circus

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man

**Chapter 2: Life In A Circus**

It was during my time at the circus, that I finally received a decent name instead of Monster, Freak… or Devil. _Red_ they called me, because of my arm. The ringmaster saw it once and he gave me the name. He didn't do it out of kindness, had he did it would have been a proper one like Andrew or Daniel, but this wasn't the case. He chose it, because it was far easier to remember and even though he didn't say it, I was able to see it in his eyes. The disgust in his eyes, clearly saying that someone like me didn't deserved a name; I was just a tool after all.

No one at the circus saw my arm. I would always have it covered and I wouldn't let anyone take a look at it. I was too afraid that the same thing as the orphanage would happen again.

"_Red! Go and clean the horses' cages!"_

"_Roger!"_

_Red took a bucket filled with water with his right arm and with difficulty took the broom and the mop with his right armpit. Left arm lying limply. Walking with difficulty he made his way to the cages. A man passed near him and pushed, the kid felt to the ground spilling the water. _

"_Stupid brat, get out of my way!"_

"_Ya bastard!" the kid lifted himself and tried to punch the man. _

_Someone grab him from behind. "Wow, wow stop there kiddo, ya don' wanna to get punch by Cosimo again, right?"_

"_Let go!"_

_The man laughed and put the kid on the floor. He helped the kid with the mop and broom, while the kid took the bucket and filled it with water one more time. _

"_You shouldn' mess with Cosimo, you'll get yourself killed"_

"_Shut up, Marco, he was the one who pushed me!"_

"_I know, I know, but he is taller and stronger than you"_

"_Who ya callin' a midget?!"_

"_I never said that" he handed the kid the broom and the mop, the kid put the bucket in the ground and took the items. Red put them in his armpit and then took the bucket._

"_Hey, Red, why don't cha use your left arm to take the broom and the mop. I would be much more easier, don't cha think?"_

_Red stopped and lowered his head, his long bangs covered his eyes. "It won't move" he mumbled. _

"_Really? Maybe you got it damage when Cosimo punch you, let me see" just as Marco tried to touch the arm, the kid slapped him._

"_Don't touch me!" the kid looked at him with fear. "Sorry" he mumbled and ran away._

Marco never touched me again after that. Actually nobody did… except that man. The man was a clown in the circus, one of the best ones. His name was Cosimo. People loved his act, and the ringmaster paid him exceptionally well, but he was just a drunkard. He named me his personal punch bag. The reason… well probably because I was smaller, weaker and had a useless arm, maybe it was also revenge for trying to steal his money.

Cosimo never liked competition. It was clear for everyone, nobody got near his stuff, in fact nobody wanted to be near him. He always harassed the other clowns, about how stupid they were and blah blah blah… he always thought of himself as the star. Too bad it didn't last.

I remember the day _he _arrived. He was such a weird man, always smiling, always the gentleman, always helping everyone. He worked as a clown in the circus. He wore a suit and a tall hat, he had a small black mustache and his black hair always combed back, just like a gentleman would look. He had a silver watch, I remember, always carrying it with him. Mana was his name.

Mana had a companion. Such a loyal friend. He always played with me, accompanied me sometimes in my chores and the most important of all, he never judged me. He never called me bad names, he never punched me. Allen was his name. Allen, the dog.

Funny isn't it? My very first friend was a dog. It was sad, but nice at the same time. He would always come and look for me, with his favorite ball in his mouth. I would throw it, and just like any other dog he would look for it and bring it back. And we would do the same thing over and over again.

Pathetic? Maybe for you, but for me it was like being in heaven. I felt like if I was the happiest boy in the world, although I never smiled. Actually I had never smiled. I would always cry or yell angrily at someone, but smile… it was like if I had never heard of that word. Not even the happy moments with Allen, will bring a smile to my face.

But again, nothing lasts forever.

Like I already said, Cosimo never liked the competition. When Mana and Allen came, they brought with them such a fantastic show, that Cosimo was forgotten. He became colder, drank more and of course charged all his fury against his favorite human punching bag.

"_Stupid retard and his stupid dog" a tall man with a clown costume and smeared makeup said, walking with an empty bottle in hand. _

_At the same certain chestnut-brown haired boy was walking in the opposite direction as the man. The clown saw the kid and sneered. _

"_Well, well… look what we have here, the tiny stupid freak" the kid lifted his head and looked at the man disgusted. _

"_Tsk, what do you want Cosimo?" he answered angrily._

"_Now, now you fuckin' brat" he took the kid from his shirt "you'll talk to me with respect, ya hear me?"_

_PUNCH!_

You think that was bad? Well, it got worse. Every night he would "casually" find me, and I would have to limp all day, because he would "accidentally" step on my leg and have bruises and cuts all over my body. For not mentioning all of the things he told me.

_Punch. Slap. Punch._

"_You're going to talk to me with respect ya hear me! Eh monster!" _

_Punch! Punch! Punch!_

"_Tell me freak, where are yer parents? Oh right your parents abandoned ya, ya know why? 'Cause yer a monster"_

Nobody helped me. And I don't blame them, the big gorilla Cosimo wasn't someone who you would want to mess with. Everyone at the circus knew that, so they never got near the bastard. But animals didn't.

_BITE!_

_Cosimo let go the kid who felt to the ground limply. He screamed as he felt sharp teeth buried in his leg. _

"_What the-" he looked down and there was a white dog with brown spots. "Ya little shit, get off me" _

_He tried to take the dog off, but it was all in vain in any case the dog bite harder. Cosimo took a wood board and hit the dog, successfully freeing himself._

"_Now comes your time!" he tried to catch the dog, but he was drunk and his movements were slow and inaccurate. _

_The little creature managed to dodge all the attacks and the animal began to growl and jumped towards the man in plan of attacking him. _

_Cosimo in fear backed away and hit his head with some cleaning stuff, and black out. The dog stopped the growling and turned to the kid lying in the floor all bruise. The dog licked the boy left hand._

"_Thanks" whispered the kid and with difficulty he stood up and walked away._

After that night, Cosimo stopped picking on me, at least not as usual as he used to did. And I was grateful with the small dog who helped me that night, the first friend I had.

I continued with my life. I made the chores the ringmaster told me to, helped prepared the dinner, cleaned the animal cages, washed the clothes, play with Allen, etc., etc.

It wasn't the perfect life, but it was better than living in the streets, stealing food and being punched for it or just for the fact that you are a street rat. I mean I know it's not correct to steal, even someone like me knows that, but we need to do whatever is necessary to stay alive.

But well, back to the story. Everything was going sweet, life for once in the circus was calm and peaceful, even Cosimo stopped his caveman-like behavior towards everybody else.

Guess that was the calm before the storm. At least for me. Because one day I didn't found Allen in the whole circus.


	4. The Clown

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man

**Chapter 3: The Clown**

I didn't found Allen in the whole circus.

You may think I was paranoid, but I wasn't. Every single morning I would wake up and begin with my chores. Sometimes I had to take food to some of the performers and whenever I passed by the tent Allen and his master stayed, the little dog will come to me as if to greet me.

But that day he didn't come. I found that strange, but I continued with the routine. Like I told you, Allen didn't appear in the whole day.

I found him though, in the late afternoon of that same day. But I didn't felt happy for that.

"_Is he dead?" asked a voice. The man kneeling in the whole turned to look at his visitor. It was a small kid, with messy chestnut-brown hair tied in a high ponytail and dirty clothes that fit him too big. _

_The man was obviously a clown. His face was paint white, his nose, lips and the border of his eyes were red. He wore a suit only clowns will wear._

"_He is dead" confirmed the man. He looked sadly at the hole in front of him. _

_Inside was the very known white dog with brown spots. It wasn't moving or breathing._

"…_He's covered in bruises. Cosimo probably did it. 'Cause the audience like ya more than 'im. He hates when people are better'n 'im. He's got no talent except when it comes to stuff like this." _

_The clown was just finishing burying the dog and he placed a small ball on top of the grave._

"_He was an old dog. He wouldn't have lived much longer anyway. It's alright." _

"_Hmm." The kid looked at the grave and then at the man. "You're not gonna take revenge?"_

"_If I do that, I'll get thrown out of here and won't get paid." He put his hands as if he was going to pray. "Namu Amida BooBoo"_

'_Ugh!' Red turned his head away from him, he looked angry. _

"_I'm a newcomer after all. After Christmas tomorrow, I'll move onto somewhere new…" the man said._

"_I see" said the child._

_They sat there in silence. The man then looked at the kid. "Hm? Who are you anyway?" the clown titled his head and looked at Red._

"_I do odd jobs around here… I've brought you dinner before" the kid responded looking to the other side, with a bored expression._

"_I have bad memory for faces" he then had a good look at the child's face "Oh my! You are covered in bruises too, aren't you?" the man rubbed a wet thumb on the kid's face._

"_Wah! Gross! Get your spit off me, dummy!" he pushed the man back and narrowed his eyes at him._

"_It's disinfectant" Red didn't listen and began to rub his cheek "Did Cosimo beat you up?"_

_The kid glared at him "Shut up" _

"_Don't you have any friends?"_

"_Shut up!" the kid yelled this time, but the clown seemed unfazed. The kid clenched his fists, but then relaxed and lay them on his knees and looked at the ground._

"_When I grow up… I'm getting out of here as soon as I'm strong enough so I don't need any friends"_

_Red looked from the corner of his eyes and looked that the clown. He had his hands on pressing his cheeks and making his face look narrow, he trying to make the kid laugh._

"_What are you doing?" he asked blankly._

"_You didn't think it was funny?" the clown asked in exchange, his tone seemed sad._

"_Sorry, but I don't like clowns and stuff. In fact I hate 'em."_

"_My, my. Well, I hate crowds and children who don't laugh." The clown crossed his arms over his chest._

"_Hmph" responded the kid angrily. _

_Red then looked at the man and then sadly at the ground. "Aren't you gonna cry? He lived with you for a long time, didn't he? Aren't you sad?" _

"_So sad I could die" the man had a rope around his neck and tied to a branch tree, simulating a hang man._

"_QUIT IT!" the kid shouted angrily. 'Is this guy dangerous?'_

"_But I can't cry" the man untied the rope from his neck "Maybe my tears are dried up. They just won't come" _

_Red looked at. "What's up with that?" he looked one more time to the grave. "What was him name? He licked my hand yesterday. His tongue was warm… So how come I'm crying over him?"_

_Tears slide on his cheeks and he began crying. _

"_I see. You were Allen's friend too…"_

We stayed there for a few more hours and then went to sleep. That was my first encounter with Mana Walker, though I didn't knew his name until the next day when he was leaving the circus.

I don't know what made go there, I just know I did.

_A man in a suit was in the entrance of the circus talking with another man, who appeared to be the ringmaster. _

"_It was a pleasure having you here" said the man. "I hope we meet again"_

_The man smiled. "I must say the same thing to you, Sir."_

_Both men shook hands and the ringmaster left. The man stayed a few minutes more, checking he wasn't missing anything, and just as he was about to leave something caught his attention in the bushes. _

"_I know you are there. Come out" he called. _

_Seconds later the same kid he met yesterday came out from the bushes. Hands in both pockets and the same expression on his face._

"_Heard you were leaving now" said the kid._

_The man nodded. "I need to catch the train to London" _

_The kid nodded and kicked a small rock. The man looked at him, it was clear the kid was sad._

"_Wanna come with me? You look very lonely" _

_The kid shot his head and looked at the man with wide eyes._

"_What?" _

_The man shrugged his shoulder. "You can come with me if you want, I have enough money for two train tickets and food. We can even find some new clothes for you"_

_The kid looked at him with eyes shining. But as it came, it was gone. _

"_You'll probably end up hating me" he looked away._

_The man titled his head "Why would I do that?" _

_Red bit his lower lip and his eyes watered. "Because I'm a freak" he then lifted the left sleeve and showed him his arm._

_It was red and scaly, almost like the skin of the lizards. The nails were long and black. On top of the hand there seemed to be something embedded, like a crystal or something like that. _

_The man walked towards him and kneeled in front of him. The kid was trembling. The man touched his arm._

"_Does it hurt?" The kid opened his eyes and looked at him surprise._

_There were no signs of disgust or hate on the clown's face. _

"_You're not scared or angry?" Red asked._

"_Why would I be? It may look different, but it's still an arm."_

I felt loved for the first time in my life.

He was a complete stranger to me, but the way he treated me made me want to trust him completely. And I did.

On that Christmas day, I left the circus for the first time.

On that Christmas day, I wasn't treated like a freak by someone who had seen my arm for the first time.

On that Christmas day, I was adopted by Mana Walker.

On that Christmas day, I got a proper name. The name of Allen Walker.

And on the Christmas day, I smiled for the very first time.

It wasn't a smirk, not a grin nothing like that. It was a genuine smile of happiness.


End file.
